Thursday 23 December 2010

A Christmas Wish for Peace on Earth

Peace comes not by imposing our wills or asserting the correctness of our ways and beliefs over others, but by reckoning with our own hearts.


 “Peace on the earth, goodwill to men,” cry the touching lyrics of the popular carol It Came Upon a Midnight Clear. Every year at Christmas time, our thoughts turn to the seemingly elusive but long-held quest for peace and harmony. But will a just, genuine and lasting peace ever come? Perhaps the answer to that question rests not so much with our governments, military, and political leaders, but within each of our hearts.
Human beings have always fought one another. Strife has been a major part of life since life began. But the reasons we fight and the ways we fight have never been fully understood.
For a long time, it was presumed that in a world with plenty for everyone, there would be no need for war, intolerance, or injustice. Need, deprivation, and desperation were thought to be the roots of conflict and war. But there is something in us all that’s more fundamentally responsible for the tumultuous world in which we live. It’s the will to power and dominance that’s the real culprit. And the desire to dominate doesn’t have to spring from the need to overcome disadvantage.
Psychologists have long known about the connection between beliefs, attitudes, and behavior. What we think about things, how we interpret events around us, the core values we hold, all influence how we will behave toward one another. Sometimes, even irrational and dysfunctional beliefs can be held with catastrophic conviction. And when those beliefs are coupled with the will to power and dominance, you can fairly well predict that unholy hell or war will soon break out. It’s one thing to believe really strongly in something, but it’s another thing entirely to desire that everyone believe just as we believe. Danger always looms whenever we decide that our way is the way or that our way of seeing things is the way everyone should see things.
The world is at a crossroads in the history of our social evolution. Some very prominent and deeply ingrained systems of thought are clashing with one another. For some ardent believers, peace can only come when everyone else’s beliefs and values crumble and bow in submission to their own. There are also some who in the name of ardent beliefs and values seek only power and dominance. For them, it’s not really so much a matter of whether others come to see things their way as it is that others simply do as they command. For still others, there’s the issue of unhealthy pride that prevents them from acknowledging any deficiency in their ways of thinking or behaving, which prompts their desire to find enemies they can blame for the dysfunctional state of their existence. When you look very closely at all the events of the time, one can’t help but thinking that the world might indeed be marching toward something quite ominous — something like a climactic showdown.
Peace on earth will not come until we face the most crafty of all enemies: ourselves. We hold the key to peace and harmony in our hearts. And what the world needs now, more than anything, is a change of heart. We won’t get along with one another until we start being honest with ourselves and one another about what we really want, what we really believe, and what we’re really willing to sacrifice to achieve the peace and harmony that has long eluded us.
This Christmas, let us spend some time reflecting on the sentiments that have always been associated with the season. While we celebrate with family and friends, let us also pledge ourselves to our part in the ages-old quest for peace on earth and goodwill toward men. Let us commit to changing the world, not by imposing our wills or asserting the correctness of our ways and beliefs over others, but by reckoning with our own hearts. That’s how the world will be transformed: one heart at a time.

Tuesday 21 December 2010

5 Ways to Beat the Christmas Blues

Stop holiday stress from turning into holiday blues with these five tips — and get back to what the season can be all about.

The year-end holidays can be a very special time indeed. Getting together with friends and family and sharing the joys of the season can be a time to build life-long remembrances. But for some, the holidays can be a time of great stress. Folks struggling with losses, undergoing conflict and upheaval, and dealing with painful emotional issues can experience the “blues,” sometimes exacerbated by the knowledge that others they know do not share their misery.
Finding some ways to prevent or beat the Christmas season blues can make all the difference for those struggling to capture at least part of the spirit of the holiday. After surveying the advice of many experts on issues ranging from holiday stress and anxiety to dealing with losses and overcoming depression, a consensus emerged about the things a person can do to stave off or reduce the blues:
Acceptance.
Whatever the circumstances are that might keep you from enjoying the holidays to the fullest, it’s important to acknowledge what’s not in your power to control, to avoid blaming yourself and compounding any misery, and to find room for acceptance of yourself and your situation. That’s not the same as giving up hope. It just means acknowledging circumstances as they are and not making matters worse by casting harmful or unwarranted negative aspersions toward oneself for the situation at hand.
Take care of yourself.
Be sure to eat right, sleep right, get as much exercise as possible, and take time to relax. Pamper yourself a bit. Take time to break open that book you’ve been wanting to read. Take a warm, relaxing bath. Sip a nourishing drink. Treat yourself to a not-so-serious movie. Even in tough times — especially in tough times — it’s important to be attentive to your most basic needs.
Involve yourself with the people and the activities you love.
Call up an old friend. Go window-shopping with a partner-in-crime. Even if you have to be home and for one reason or another have to remain alone, surround yourself with some of the things you love. Put some favorite songs on the stereo. Watch a favorite old movie on TV. Make your immediate environment as pleasant and comforting as possible.
Throw some light on the situation.
Take some walks outdoors, especially if it’s sunny. Sunshine has a remarkable capacity to brighten spirits as well as the day.
Find some way to give.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself when you face difficult circumstances during the holidays. And while you might not feel very inclined to do so in the beginning, it’s always helpful to find some way to give of yourself to others. Not only is that what the season is supposed to be about, but also it can be a real boost to the despondent spirit to become involved in an enterprise that positively impacts others.
‘Tis the season to be joyful and merry. And if life’s many trials and tribulations have put a damper on your usual holiday spirit, you might have a real challenge on your hands just to get through the season with a minimum of stress. But it’s important to remember that the true meaning of the season is not in all the festivities or all the gifts given and received. The real spirit of the holiday, and the greatest gift you can possibly share, is the one you alone can offer: the gift of love.