I have a theory regarding holiday
stress: In the month of December, high levels of Cortisol (stress hormone) turn
80 percent of the population into fruitcakes — just like the stale one
delivered to your house yesterday.
Because
on top of adding 675 things to your to-do list, you’ve now got to deal with the
strained relationship with your dad and two brothers. Bummer.
Here,
then, are my tips to keep your stress down a notch, so that you don’t turn into
a fruitcake or hurl the mistletoe at an obnoxious relative.
1.
Simplify
Cut your
to-do list in half. In December??? Yep. Keep on asking yourself this question:
Will I die tomorrow if this thing doesn’t get done?
2.
Prioritize.
Santa
needs to put something under the tree for maybe your daughter, mother, husband,
and two best friends. He need not use plastic for 300 of your closest friends
and their cousins.
3. Stay
flexible.
When it
comes to the holidays, you had better be amenable to last-minute changes.
Because the honey-baked ham you bought for Christmas won’t work for your
brother’s Muslim girlfriend and her extended family of 14. Call 1-800-Turkeys?
4. Give
away the Santa hat.
I know
it’s tempting to believe that you can be 35 places at the same time just like
the white-bearded dude. Alas, you can’t. So give your Santa hat to Goodwill and
try not to double book. Triple booking is absolutely prohibited.
5. Get
some elves.
Santa
sure does know how to delegate, with all those elves working for him. Imitate
him! Find a young, poor, desperate person and ask him what he would accept
(plastic … your coin collection … your kid’s old toys) as payment to do one of
your jobs. Then seal the deal.
6. Persevere
“The
greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.” — Author Unknown
7. Don’t
rush the process
Only in
struggling to emerge from a small hole in the cocoon does a butterfly form
wings strong enough to fly. Should you try to help a butterfly by tearing open
the cocoon, the poor thing won’t sprout wings, or if it does, its friends will
make fun of it.
8.
Protect yourself
Avoid the
highly educated relative who might tell you “all things happen for a reason” or
that you somehow attracted this disappointment with the wrong thoughts. Build
an imaginary bubble and hide inside.
9. Stay
big
Newspaper
columnist Ann Landers once wrote, “Expect trouble as an inevitable part of
life, and when it comes, hold your head high. Look it squarely in the eye, and
say, “I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.” For once in your life,
the bigger you are the better!
10. Allow
cracks
A crack
in your marriage, career, or personal plans doesn’t mean that your life is
broken. According to Canadian singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen, “There is a
crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
11. Write
about it
Recent
research by Dr. James Pennebaker, chair of the psychology program at the
University of Texas, has concluded that writing about painful feelings and
emotional events relieves stress and promotes healing on many levels. So keep a
journal.
12. Back up
Sometimes
you can’t make sense of a picture until you back up. Up close all you see is
dots … lots of them in different shapes and colours. But with some distance the
painting comes alive. It tells a story.
13. Stand
up again.
A
Japanese proverb says, “fall seven times, stand up eight.” Notice there is no
mention of sitting down when you’re tired or crawling when you’re scared.
14. Join
the race
That’s
the human race I’m talking about. Because no one is perfect. The human
experience is an exercise in collecting disappointments and mistakes,
ruminating on them for a little bit, and turning them into wisdom.
15. Take
the fork
Yogi
Berra once said, “When you come to the fork in the road, take it” … meaning: it
doesn’t matter which direction you choose as long as you keep moving.
16. Start
over
Every
disappointment is an opportunity to start over. A white piece of paper. And if
this time you still can’t colour within the lines, you get another blank sheet,
as many new beginnings as you want.
17. Be
gentle
Don’t
scream at yourself. Speak to yourself with loving kindness, the same way you
would to your friend who was just dealt a big, fat, unfair blow.
18. Get
directions
Oprah
Winfrey was taken off the air in Baltimore at the start of her career, when she
was given a shot at a talk show. Says Oprah: “I have learned that failure is
really life’s way of saying, ‘Excuse me, you’re moving in the wrong
direction’.”
19. Dance
in the rain
My mum
once told me, “You can’t wait for the storm to be over. You have to learn how
to dance in the rain.”
20. Believe
in miracles and hang on to hope
I’ve
witnessed enough miracles in my life to know they happen — usually when I least
expect it.
And there
is one thing that never, ever disappoints — hope. Hold on to it forever.
